Take a Number

This is my blog. I have my opinions some of which may be wrong.Some of which may be right. Some which just need to be thought upon. Maybe people come by here read a post respond without taking time to think and never come back. That's their choice. I just felt like saying that before doing my actual blog post. I noticed the past few days that out of all the people I have been asking for help there have been some interesting correlations... People that were not willing to spend time helping me but instead criticizing me or helping me in ways that really weren't helpfull in the long run were also the ones who thought that adoption was a good idea... The ones the few who have tried to help are the ones who are less open to the idea of adoption at least in my case.... This doesn't neccesarily mean anything just an observation. Something else I was thinking on was how a lot of people were telling me I shoulden't expect anyone to help me. Meaning they weren't obligated and they had their own things to look after etc... Specifically I would be mentioning christians and how I wasen't getting help with housing. And in return people on the net and people I talked to would say they didn't have to help me... I can't believe I heard this coming out of peoples mouths...Crhistians mouths...Did jesus not help certain people becuase they may have been a danger to him or his followers? Didn't jesus say "Love God, love others,love yourself...? Doesn't loving others mean helping them? Not treating them like all the other organizations have and just pass them onto the next person? Seriously I have felt like a leper the past few months. The way people have dealt with me talked to me has made me feel like an outcast abd made me feel worht little to nothing.Now you can say maybe I was approaching them rudley or whatever that I needed a better attitude a different apporach... Maybe the people turing me away need a new attitude. Don't you realize by not helping people whom you think have a 'bad attitude' could result in you yourself not receiving help in the future from them if needed? In the future if someone asks me for help but I don't like the way they are asking or am somewhat leary about them can I say to them"I'm not obligated to help you?" Would that be right? Would that be fair? Would that be something I would do? No I don't think it would be. If I can help people and am asked for help I do help in whatever way I can. Even if it may set me back a bit... That's it for now I think. Just felt like typing a bit of my thoughts of the past few days.

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Just a very short update. I don't know if I mentioed before having the possibility of going to a transition house for a little bit.... Well if I go to a transition house..my boyfriend won't be able to be there...At all. Because the transition house is maninly for women escaping abusive relationships. If I was to keep the child I could go there but it's father coulden't even visit... No one is suppose to know where the place is unless they work or stay there... However I was informed that the people there like a social worker or whatever may have some sort of advice to help me. Anyways that's it... Another nail in the coffin it seems but oh well...

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Still no help. I will most likely end up going to a transition house after I give birth to my child... Which isen't much better then where I am now. The transition house is mainly for women who are "escaping" from bad relationships drugs etc...I merely need a place to raise my child safe and secure...That looks like it isen't happening. I contacted yet another few places.... Still no one sitting down with me to see what can be down...Just passing along the line like always. I got a list of all the apartment complexes in my city.... However it is like 7 years out of date so it was pretty much useless. I tried calling more than half the places on the list. The vast majorities were wrong numbers or not in service. The ones I did reach had no openings or were 'age restricted' What a sad society. I would care for my child fine...If I had the housing. Yet there are people out there who for various reasons really shoulden't be raising children yet they do.

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I feel abandoned. Infact it seems my whole life I have felt that way. Everyone can say what they want. They can say I shoulden't expect others to help. They can say it's my own fault. It doesn't matter what they say it won't take away how I feel and what situation I am in. I'll just stop asking people for help. It's not like I did it much anyways. I will rely on my self and government such help. Which isen't help a lot of the time. I'll start over. Be my private self again.

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Wow..Has it ever been a long time since I have been here! I still see some of the same bloggers from before. I must say though my life has changed dramatically since I last posted here. I am currently pregnant yet I will be looking into adoption. I am at probably one of the most difficult times in my life and finding that many people whether they be of a certain faith or none at all are all acting the same towards my cries for help in finding housing. No one it seems will help. I have even been semi-criticized for not being grateful for the help I do recieve via food and a few other things. I find it annoying for someone to tell me I need to be grateful and accept whatever help I get when I may not have a place to live yet I will have boxes of food. For someone to say to me"We don't always get help in exactly the way we want" I find is extremly idiotic. I am not asking for money I am not asking for all their time....I just want a secure place to live. Correct me if I am wrong but I do not think there is a substitute for something like that.... I find it sad that the lack of support I am getting from christians and anyone else is being justified by the statement or ones like it that"people have their own issues to deal with" or "no one is obligated to help you" or "help doesn't always come exactly as we want it". Give me a break people! Shoulden't we care about where our so called 'brothers and sisters' of this world are living or should we just throw some food or transportation help at them and say it's enough?

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